Looking for a job? Don’t be this guy.

I just received this email:

Hi,

Please see my attached resume.
I’m very intelligent and creative. I have a very eclectic arsenals of skills for the solution of problems.
I’ve worked in numerous startups, including several of my own.

Reed

The sad thing is, I get an email like that just about every day. I thought I would share my response in hopes that it will help someone from making the same mistakes.

We’re not hiring right now, but here are a few free tips:

  • “I’m very intelligent and creative.” doesn’t come off as confident, it comes off as cocky
  • If you had spent 2 minutes looking at our site you would have known that my email address is josh@eventvue.com not careers, not jobs… just josh.
  • No mention about what excites you about EventVue? Keep in mind I get several resumes in my inbox EVERY DAY. It’s not hard to get my attention. Comment on my blog. Send me an engaging question. @me on twitter. I’ll respond. Just don’t send me something that has been copied and pasted to a dozen different companies.
  • “FW: about me” is your subject line? I’d work on that one a bit.
  • We’re a startup trying to build cutting edge stuff. The fact that you sent me an email from a Hotmail account communicates that you aren’t much of an early adopter. That’s too bad, because I bet you’re a smart guy.

I understand that startups are different.  Your career center probably didn’t tell you this stuff.  That’s why I am.

Update. Reed responded:

Don’t worry I’m very creative and intelligent. It’s not a boast. It’s who I am.

If you read my resume then you know that I’m also an internationally known composer.
I can write top level music in any style you can think of, including the most modern remix and such.
I attached a song from one of my Cds. All my Cds have been in or near the 10 ten the country on jazz radio.

I  have not only hotmail but gmail and facebook and twitter and others.

Anyway, I’ll keep your advice in mind.

I’ll check out your blog.

Not sure that helped, but at least now I know he’s a good composer.  The music was pretty.

  • http://www.owocki.com/ Kevin Owocki

    That's funny. We got an email from the same guy today. It was very poorly written, and not well targeted at all.

    • http://www.onlineaspect.com Josh Fraser

      I was wondering how many people I know got the same email.

      • Nikolaus Bauman

        We did too. Thing is, there wasn't even a body to the email, just a resume attachment.

        • http://www.onlineaspect.com Josh Fraser

          So…. he's hired??

  • DaveJ

    Did you check the resume for malware? I wouldn't be shocked if this was just spam of some kind.

    The sentence "I have a very eclectic arsenals of skills for the solution of problems" does not sound like it was constructed by a native English speaker – yet his name is "Reed"? I'm suspicious.

    • http://www.onlineaspect.com Josh Fraser

      The resume was legit and the guy actually responded. I've updated the post with his response.

      • reedkotler

        Here's a problem I solved at a job interview the other day.

        Can you do it?

        Write a program to calculate the probability of getting a pair when seven cards are dealt.
        (This includes 3 of a kind, full house, etc).

        • Mystery Man Mike

          trying to prove yourself on this blog only strengthens josh's case.

          I'm not a programmer, i'm no math wizard, and i'm not that good at cards but I did take a stats class in college and I can tell you using my basic calculator that the probability of getting a pair when seven cards are dealt is roughly 0.47. If you subtract out other combos including full house, two pair, 3 of a kind, etc then the prob drops to ~.44

      • http://dennis-yu.com Dennis Yu

        Funny, this guy must have spammed everyone– lol.

    • reedkotler

      I'm a native English speaker.

      I speak Russian fluently too. I taught myself. What foreign languages do you speak fluently?

  • Adam

    His response is hilarious! You let him know that an EventVue targeted email/resume would maybe get your attention and he feels the need to inform you of a completely unrelated and worthless skill for your company.

    • reedkotler

      So the answers are:
      1) No, you can't solve the problem.
      2) No. You don't speak any foreign languages fluently

      What is the hilarious part about? Saving face?

      But you are free to cast some disparity on whether someone else can speak English or not and publicly circulate around some private job application.

      • http://www.onlineaspect.com Josh Fraser

        I was planning on leaving you anonymous. You were the person who chose to reveal your identity.

  • Lydia Fraser

    Joshua, Joshua, Joshua.. you're horrible, haha. Maybe you should make it known that you can write Scottish. =) love you!

  • http://www.databoysoftware.com Buddy Logan

    Sorry Reed, but if you are a native English speaker looking to impress people, then you should take note of your grammar.

    The point Josh was trying to get across is that most of us learn from experience that those who brag the most are usually those who are least confident in their real skills. Your responses here further indicate that lack of confidence.

    Because you have a lack of confidence does NOT mean that you are not intelligent , creative, or lacking in any other way. You have to first stop trying to convince yourself of your attributes. If you look deep enough, I think you will find you have not done so.

    Quit trying to convince anyone – including, and especially, yourself. Instead, feel confident in your abilities and project that confidence by speaking intelligently. Others will get the message without the feeling that someone is trying to convince them or is simply arrogant.

  • http://www.pulseuniform.com/cheap-scrubs.asp Jay of Cheap Scrubs

    *trying to keep a straight face*

    Uhmm, so did you hire Reed yet?